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Lost in Tulgey Wood

"I warn you, if you bore me, I shall take my revenge." J.R.R. Tolkein

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Location: Canton, Ohio, United States

The essence of all art is to have pleasure in giving pleasure --Mikhail Baryshnikov

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Why me?

Please tell me. Why do I have to be the only one to bring home the bacon? Why can't I bring home more bacon? When will I be comfortable? How much more bacon will that take? I'm thinking $500 more a month will do.

If I had $500 more a month, I wouldn't have to use credit cards. I could by gifts for people when the occaision arose. I could get my hair done once a month. Maybe, I'll need $700 more.

I'm prepared to fight for the lifestyle that suits me. I will stay here and do what I must do, but lack of bacon is threatening to bring us all down. I am building a fortress and protecting what I have. I'm sending out scouts. Usually, I bug out when money gets tight, but I've got too big a company now. Best stay put and hunker down.

I'm doing my part. The tricky part is rallying the troops to do theirs. But, I will get my way. I will use every wile and device to get the results I want. I'm not taking no for an answer and I'm raising the bar for all of us. I'll let you know how that goes.


Blogger Big Orange said...

we've discovered the following helps:

A) get rid of cable TV
B) get rid of your phone and only use cell-o fones
C) drink crappy coffee (not the expensive shit)
D) don't go out to dinner
E) don't have health insurance on 1 or more of your fambly members
F) don't go to the movies
G) don't go ANYWHERE-- save on gas by staying home in the semi-dark (saving on 'lectricity, too)
H) do much/all of your shopping at 2nd hand stores, like Goodwill or Salvation Army (if you have a used-bakery store nearby, this helps too!)
I) drink really crappy generic soda, water and no beer/wine/whiskey
J) sell as much shit as you possibly can on eBay
K) go through your old videos, dub them and sell the originals to 2nd hand video stores
L) do the same with all your CD's-- listen to the dubs and make a few bucks by selling the original ones
M) work at least 3 jobs: your full time one and at least 1-3 part-time ones

After about 6-8 months of doing all of the above, you'll generally go numb to the fact that all your friends can merrily go out to dinner n' a movie ('cuz they can ALSO afford a sitter) whenever they want, and generally can walk 'round with $20 in cash in their wallets at all times.

P.S.: welcome to the World of the Working Poor!! You're in fine, fine company!!

P.S.S.: btw, you will be richer than all of your rich, workin' friends 'cuz YOUR CHILDREN WERE RAISED BY *YOU*, and not by some stranger in a baby-farm.

1:37 PM  
Blogger genn6 said...

kudos to big orange for telling it like it is.....
and having some good pointers.....

8:56 PM  
Blogger Flannery Alden said...

I'm not getting rid of cable. But I think I can make a difference with some of your suggestions.

Thanks, friend.

8:49 AM  
Blogger Big Orange said...

As Dancin' Danny Wright used to say, "No, no need to thank me, I do this as a public service!!" ;-}

12:14 PM  

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